I'm getting there

This week was very productive for me. I finished my "thesis" paper for graduate school! Whoop whoop! I met with prospective internships, and even had a job interview, although, I hate to admit may not be the most ideal choice for my professional goals. What would be the best fit for my goals?

I have some of "soul searching" to do before I begin to understand what I want to do with my life. Why does our society try to force us to decide this when we are 18 years old? I guess I already know the answer to this question, but I don't want to have just one career the rest of my life- hey, I've already had two! I need variety. I need constant... what do I need?

Maybe it is the insomnia that makes me question my life. Or maybe it's my lack of success in my professional life that gives me insomnia. I mean, I've always said I'm completely satisfied with mediocrity. (I know, how sad is that?) Why the sudden need to feel successful? Why the questioning? Why the self-deprecation?
I think so many women my age go through these feelings. Then, they have babies and those feelings turn into pride for their children and being a mom. Is having babies a way to escape the feelings of not having a successful career? An excuse to stay home? A way to be satisfied with mediocrity?

I do want to have A child, but when I'm a little more mature, ready for the struggles, ready for selflessness. I'm not there yet. I do want to have a successful career, not a mediocre, blah, job. I already have a one-of-a-kind true love story. A wonderful husband who loves me more than I'll ever be able to put into words- I know, he tried during our vows. My marriage is anything but mediocre, so why do I doubt I can't have that in a profession. And further more, why do I need more when I have a stellar personal life?

What a beautiful week!

Seriously! Can you believe this weather? It has been gorgeous here since Saturday, and what a difference it has made in my outlook. I've gotten up and done homework, got outside for a run or walk with my husband and the dogs, and even got some things ready outside for our garden. It's hard to believe it is the middle of February with this weather. I know it will get cooler again, that's why we are getting outside today and doing something fun. Enjoy!

Unbelievable!

Yesterday was Valentine's Day. It was mine and J's first Valentine's Day as official husband and wife. We celebrated one last year as unofficial husband and wife, but I can't even remember what we did. J has been known to plan some pretty wonderful nights. One year, J took me to see Elton John. Another year, it was to the best sushi restaurant in the US with friends. This year, he told me we would "live above the influence" and avoid the expensive flowers and cheesy cards. Well, usually when he says something like that, he means it. We were planning a low-key night, watching the basketball game (KU vs. KSU), and hanging out with his family. My husband made his famous chili and chocolate fondue. It was delicious. But he surprised me with flowers and a heart felt card. My husband is so sweet. And after he surprised me, my alma mater shocked the hell out of me! KSU! Kstate has struggled this year, so it was pretty unbelievable that they beat the number one team in the nation. I'd like to think that J arranged that too! What a great Valentine's Day!

My new favorite thing

I've been saying that I want to get a Kindle since they came out on Oprah's Favorite Things two years ago. I was apprehensive about getting one because I thought I would miss the feeling of a book in my hands. I thought there was nothing better than curling up by the fire with a book, but there is: Curling up by the fire with the KINDLE! Well, I finally got one last month. Since then, I've read three books on my new 3G Kindle. The Kindle is a reader's best friend. I don't miss carrying books and I read a lot more than I used to. There are very few things that I really believe are worth the money and earn my 100% endorsement, but this is one of them.

What inspires you?

I have been in a perpetual workout slump. My usual "go to" is running. With all the snow Kansas has been getting lately, running outside has pretty much lost all appeal. There really is nothing worse than slipping on some slick ice or snow and busting your butt and having to jog the rest of your 4 miles home. Running on a treadmill sounds even less appealing. Yoga is something I've always enjoyed. It can be relaxing or intense (power yoga), but I still can't get myself to finish an entire DVD. I think what I really need is my 23 year old self motivating me. I used to be a personal trainer, and I was in great shape. I might not have been the thinnest trainer, but I could lift, run, jump, throw, and kick box with the best of them. I need some of that old motivation. So what motivates you? Send me your feedback. Or if you are in my area, I'd love to join you on a workout.

Goumet cooking

After watching Julia and Julia I decided that I wanted to learn how to cook like Julia Child. Yesterday, in my attempt to cook a gourmet meal, I prepared the most beautiful dinner for my husband. I made, all from scratch, French Onion Soup with Gruyere Cheese and French Bread. I also prepared Lamb Chops and Rosemary Mashed Potatoes. We of course topped this off with a bottle of red wine. The dinner turned out perfectly. While I'm not anywhere near the cook I hope to be, I'm getting better. If anyone hasn't seen the movie, Julia and Julia will inspire you to be a better cook and to follow your dreams.



And if you are feeling ambitious, pick up a copy of Mastering the Art of French Cooking.

Go KU!

Wow!  It's been a long time since my last post.  I think the cold Kansas weather makes me want to do nothing but sit inside and drink hot cocoa.  Last night, my husband and I ventured outside and we went to Allen Field House to watch the Kansas Jayhawks play the Mizzou Tigers.  It was such an awesome game.  The energy in Allen Field House is amazing.  My blood truly does run purple!  Go State!  But it was so refreshing to see two great teams play so well together, unlike the games I've watched my Alma Mater play lately.  My husband and his family are huge KU fans and they despise Mizzou.  It was great to see them get so excited when KU broke 100 points and beat Mizzou last night.  While my blood still runs purple, if you mix crimson and blue together... does that count?

PS... I think I'll invest in one of these for those cold, Kansas evenings when all I want is some cocoa inside my warm house.